Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wedding Day Planning Blues.....

Mr. Norm and I have two beautiful daughters.  They make us proud.  Both have worked hard and accomplished great things in their early adult years.  Both are leaps and bounds ahead of where I was at their age. 

Miss Kristin, our youngest, married last August.

Miss Sarah, our oldest, is in the midst of planning her wedding for September of this year.
I experienced the same emotions with Miss Kristin's planning as I am with Miss Sarah's planning.  My emotions want to open the checkbook and tell them "Don't worry about a thing, have the wedding of your dreams.  Hire the best and sit back, relax and enjoy this time of your life." 

I thank God daily that Mr. Norm has taught me a great lesson.
This lesson has blessed our lives and the lives of our daughters and their growing families. 

You see, Mr. Norm looks at this time in their lives as a wonderful opportunity for our girls and their boys to build a foundation of learning to work together for a common goal.

With both girls, we never made a commitment of money for their weddings.  With Miss Kristin, we had several meetings, many tears, and lots of growing pains.  She would see a wedding magazine and want the grandest of grand.  My heart wanted to give her those things.   She would present it to Mr. Norm and his response each and everytime would be.  You and Frankie, get pricing, work out the details and let me know what you find.

It taught me to let go, it taught Miss Kristin to turn to her future husband and it created an opportunity for them to work on budgets, planning and discovering what was really important to each of them.

 They had a breath taking wedding, a reception that people still talk about today.  It was labeled "THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY" from many, many family members.

Do you know the reason why?   I will admit that I really did not grasp the concept, while we were going through it.  It wasn't until they were well on their way to their honeymoon destination, when Mr. Norm and I had a chance to reflect on the events that my light bulb moment occured.  It wasn't spetacular because it was the grandest of grand it was spetacular because of the community they had created.   By not committing a dollar amount, Miss Kristin and Frankie, became quite resourseful. They rallied the troups of family members.   Almost everyone at this gala event had a hand in the orchastrating of this beautiful day.  They had ownership.   Everyone was proud of their contribution to the young couples dream wedding. The reception was a celebration of everyone working together for a common goal.  When we did open the checkbook, Miss Kristin and Frankie had begun to create an amazing foundation for their lifetime together.  It overwhelmed my heart!

We are going through the same growing pains with Miss Sarah.  I would like to say it is easier.  That I have overcome the emotional desire to spring to the rescue and hand over the money and solve the latest problem.  I have not!  I have thanked God each and every day for blessing me with a husband who concerns himself more with helping his daughters create a strong foundation with the men in their lives, than the details of a one day event.  Yes, he desires for them to have their special day, but his desire for them to have a special life is stronger!  
We are blessed!  I realize it more with every one of Miss Sarah's posts on her blog.  As
she shares their journey of planning their wedding. 


  1. Wonderful for you both to do such a great thing for these newlyweds. That is one of the BEST gifts you can give them..and others as you say, they had "ownership" in the wedding, and felt like they contributed. Team effort!
    How awesome. Thanks for sharing!

  2. What beautiful daughters you have been blessed with. It is so easy to get carried away with wedding cost and it sounds like you are handling this very well.

  3. I love this life lesson you are teaching us with this experience in your life. Everything you are saying, I will tuck away for the day when my first child gets married.

    God bless you all as you walk through this wonderful time of making memories and decisions.

    I would love to hear about your niece.

  4. It was the wedding of the century ... and to think we will get to enjoy a second wedding of the century really soon! Sarah and Kristin are such awesome young ladies!!! And their mom and dad ain't too shabby either!! XOXO Love you!